Coping with Anger and Grief About Aging

They say there are many stages of grief. Some of those stages include denial, depression and acceptance. But one that many of us experience is anger. While we most often associate intense grief with the emotions when a loved one passes away, we can go through grief about a lot of things.

People go through grief when when they lose a job, a loved one or a pet. But an area of loss that we donÕt often associate with grief is the physical decline of aging.

You can determine if your elderly loved one is experiencing grief about aging and declining from the comments they make. It is common to hear them look back with remorse at lost youth and the loss of functionality and strength that occurs as we age.

As a senior sees their strength decline and perhaps go through one of the many natural ailments of aging such as arthritis or problems with elimination, it is not uncommon to see a response of anger result from their impatience with these problems.

The problem with being angry about growing old is that it's not healthy. The result is often lashing out at those closest to us because the frustration with aging bodies causes tempers to flare up spontaneously and a loved one or caregiver is the one who is a convenient target. So it would be good to find ways to cope with the anger about aging in a productive way.

This kind of coping is necessary so your elderly loved one doesnÕt lash out at the innocent. But it is also healthy for you to learn to cope with the aging process because stalling out in the grief process will create tension in your emotional system, which can cause physical problems such as ulcers or problems sleeping. So how do we get rid of the anger we naturally feel at seeing our bodies decline?

A wise man once said that we get angry because of a false sense of entitlement. It comes when our expectations do not line up with reality. A false sense of entitlement comes when we come to the conclusion that we do not deserve to get old. The best way to confront and put aside that sense of entitlement is to recognize it. It seems simplistic to just come out and recognize that everybody grows old and we are not entitled to be exempt from the changes that come with aging. But if you can recognize that consciously, it will help take anger out of the loop when coping with the affects of aging.

Resolution of grief comes when our expectations line up with reality. The attempt to deny the advance of years is the sole cause of midlife crisis in your younger days and that emotional response to aging can create devastating results as the one in crisis tries to behave as though they are not growing old and make bad decisions based on that concept.

So too, if you can recognize that these problems are the natural result of aging and the best thing to do is to take care of yourself to try to minimize their impact, you will live with a much healthier attitude toward aging. By focusing on your diet, your exercise, and doing all you can to stay rested and emotionally sound, you will see the negative effects of aging become minimized. Moreover, you will be a happier person and that shift in your emotions can go a long way toward keeping you young at heart. And that is the best way to turn back the effects of aging from the inside out.

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