Can Mom Still Take Care of Herself at Home?

When you have an aging senior parent the concern for their ability to maintain their lifestyle, particularly the basic activities of daily living, can be a significant worry.

Almost without fail, seniors resist the idea of packing up and moving out of the home they’ve loved and lived in for so many years and into an assisted living facility or nursing home. As a child of a senior citizen, you worry about issues relating to safety if your aging parent continues to live independently. If their spouse has passed, there may be mental health concerns such as depression or loneliness as well.

Other issues relate to the aspects of the home and age related physical decline. Hallways, doors, bathrooms and kitchens of older homes weren’t built for walkers or wheelchairs. The thought of Mom or Dad taking a fall and being unable call 911 or to reach you for help is scary. Of course, there are financial aspects to consider… such as paying the mortgage (if it is still active) and other bills and providing maintenance for the home.

The question is, whether you should try to help your aging parent move into an assisted care facility or arrange for them to stay in their own home. There are many compelling reasons to help them stay in the home they have lived in for so long if there are ways to overcome the challenges. Numerous studies show that seniors that live in their own homes are better adjusted, happier and healthier. Your parents may have good friends in the neighborhood that can provide emotional support and can look in on them from time to time to assure they are safe. Additionally, the wonderful feeling of being outside in the yard, feeding the birds, caring for a pet or taking care of a small garden — all of which have numerous health benefits, both mentally and physically.

Certain measures can be taken to provide for the unique needs of your aging loved one if you determine it’s appropriate to keep them in their home. In the very early stages of decline, family and friends of the senior can take on chores and maintenance of the home, yard work and repairs so that the home continues to be a safe, viable living space. This reduces the expenses of home ownership as well.

From a financial perspective, you can work with your aging senior parent to reduce the costs of staying in their home. If they still have a mortgage, the outstanding balance may be low but the payment high. By making a few requests of the mortgage company, you might be able to re-finance the loan to lower the payment and make it more affordable even than living in assisted care or a nursing home.

You can work with utilities companies and credit sources who may have programs to assist the elderly in owning their own home. By utilizing the resources already in place, you may be able to get your aging parents costs into a reasonable range and help them establish a budget that allow them to live comfortably on social security and whatever retirement funds they have.

You can also find home nursing care, personal care and put good technology to use to make it possible for your parent to have quality care in the home and to have the resources to be able to reach out to you in the event of an emergency. Home care services like these do well at providing for the needs of seniors so they can virtually spend the entire remainder of their years living in their home where they are happy.

The key to making all of these steps work is to enlist the partnership of your senior parent. By sitting down with him or her, you can review that keeping them at home is a shared project and that they should do all they can to make this work. They will be enthusiastic to make that kind of effort and stay in the home they love so much.

Back to List of Articles